Murphy Michele's Blog

Make Me a Firefly

murphymichele — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 23:41:03 +0000

I have developed a fascination for fireflies since living here in Nashville. The view from my back door is absolutely incredible overlooking the golf course with a giant weeping willow tree shadowing over the pond right down the hill. At night I like to sit out on the porch swing and watch the fireflies as I breathe in every bit of fresh air and I bask in the beauty of God’s breathtaking creation. One night while swinging outside watching the fireflies, I began to wonder, “What does a firefly look like up close?” I realized I had never seen one up close and had no idea what they actually looked like when they weren’t giving off that sparkle of light. As they danced all around the back yard I continued to ponder on the fact that when it comes to fireflies, you only see what they give off. If they aren’t giving off light at night, chances are, you are not going to notice them. And if you do, they wouldn’t catch your attention as much as they do when they are glowing. You see what they give off….light. And as I sat there, I began to pray, “God make me a firefly.” Not in a literal sense but in the sense that when people look at me, they see God’s light shining through me. I want to be a light for Christ and just like a firefly, people are only going to see what I give off. So if I am giving off negativity and dullness, that’s what people around me are going to notice and see… and that is not very appealing. Whereas if I were giving off a positive glow of happiness and light that I find in Jesus Christ, people are going to be more likely to be drawn to me and the image I give off. As a Christian and firm believer in Christ, I am called to live in the image of Jesus Christ, and that is so much more appealing than a dull and negative image…not to mention completely opposite of the image of Christ that He has called me to give off. If I want people to see the happiness, joy and peace that I find in Christ alone, then I need to live my life as a firefly for Christ, giving off his light so that it’s all people see when they look at me. A persona that they could sit for hours and just watch glow, just as I could sit for hours and watch the fireflies dance around in the backyard.

God, help me to be a firefly for You.

He’s Got You “Covered”

murphymichele — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 07:01:48 +0000

Just a quick thought…

Tonight I was babysitting the kiddos…3 amazing children of God to say the least. After they had said their prayers and were all tucked away upstairs, I went downstairs and grabbed my pen and notebook to take advantage of the silence and get some writing in. Not long after the kids had gone to bed, I heard a little voice crying out from upstairs, “I want my cover”. I took off running upstairs to see what was wrong, only to find one of the boys crying in the bottom bunk, searching for his covers. They had fallen off of him onto the floor and it was so dark, he couldn’t see to find them. So after I came to the conclusion that he just wanted his covers, I covered him up, and said, “You’re okay buddy”. After he was covered up he grabbed my hand and fell right back to sleep. When I saw that he was okay, I went back downstairs and continued writing…but my subject immediately changed. I thought, “I want MY cover God”. Sitting in the silence and basking in His goodness, I realized there have been so many times when I have lost my covers in the darkness and needed to cry out to Him in order to ever get them back. I am 21 years old and to this day I must have my covers when I go to sleep at night, because without them I don’t feel as safe. Now I don’t know if that is what was going through this 2-year-old boy’s head when he woke up and realized his covers were not covering him, but this is what I got out of it. A really close friend recently shared with me some scriptures about resting in God. Psalms 3:5 “I lie down and sleep and all night long the Lord protects me. I am not afraid of the thousands of enemies who surround me on every side.” And Psalms 4:8 “When I lie down, I go to sleep in peace; You alone, O Lord, keep me perfectly safe.” So reading these, I see that just like a mother and father care for their children and want them to have a safe place to rest peacefully, our Father in heaven desires us to rest in Him and not worry about the monsters that hide in the dark. Just as a mother or father runs to their child when they cry for help, our Heavenly Father does the same. He “covers” us so that we can feel safe. And if we somehow slip out from under the covers and start to feel a bit shaken and scared, all we have to do is cry out to Him and He runs to our side to cover us again…reassuring us that we are “okay”.

So to anyone who is reading this, I pray God’s covering of safety and peace as you rest in Him tonight. Thank You, God for always having me covered.

Your Love Never Fails

murphymichele — Thu, 26 May 2011 01:06:23 +0000

I have spent many sleepless nights wondering why it is that You love me. I have cried myself to sleep countless times over mistakes I have made and all the ways I have managed to let You down. Sometimes, in the battle between my spirit and flesh, my flesh gets the worst of me. There are times that I have doubted Your love. Times when I have been so weak I had to rely on You to simply pull me out of bed in the mornings. Times when tears seemed to be the only sense of relief from the pain I was feeling. Times when heartache and disappointment seemed to be the only emotions I could grasp hold of. Times when living and fighting the fight didn’t even seem to be an option anymore. Since I was a little girl, my heart has longed to know You. My mind has questioned and wondered about every aspect of Your being. I have never been able to come anywhere close to wrapping my head around the possibility of You being anything but Sovereign and Good! It amazes me that You know every tiny little piece of information about my mind, body, and spirit. You see my mistakes and yet You still long to spend time with and have a relationship with me. The gift of calling You Father is the greatest blessing I could ever receive. You love me for who I am and see beauty through all of my imperfections. Although at times I have little faith and underestimate Your power and my ability to do all things through You, You have never left my side or given up on me. I am speechless when I think back on every trial You have brought me out of. Every hole I have dug and jumped head first into, only to look up and see You standing at the exit with Your hand reached out to pull me back up. For every storm I have found myself stuck in the middle of, with what seemed like no escape, You have been my shelter. And though You may not calm the storm right away, You teach me to trust You in that moment. You lead me out of every dark tunnel I find myself lost in and supply the stones to defeat every giant I face. You are my Savior, my Rock, my Redeemer. You are my EVERYTHING and without You I am nothing. I am forever Yours. So when I get caught up in the chaos and complications of this world, bring me back to Your arms and remind me of the simplicity of Your love that never fails, never gives up, and never runs out on me.

Burned

murphymichele — Wed, 25 May 2011 03:08:57 +0000

About a week ago I took a last-minute vacation with my sister and a close family friend to Galveston for a few days. The morning we were leaving, we ate at IHop for breakfast before we headed out. As we were sitting at our table talking and waiting for our food, I couldn’t help but be distracted for a sec when a young girl walked in with her family and sat down at the table next to us. She had her entire left arm wrapped in gauze and half of her left leg. I turned and asked my friend what he thought had happened to her and his response was that she must have been burned. That thought was confirmed when another table nearby asked the girl what had happened. What we gathered from the little we could hear from eavesdropping out of curiosity was that she was cooking something in a pan and some sort of “explosion” happened causing her arm to be burnt so badly. Seeing this girl wrapped up and hearing what had happened struck up an interesting conversation at our table. My friend stated that in his mind, being burned would be the worst thing ever because when you get burned they have to scrub the wound to get it clean. My sister then said that it’s the same for road rash. The thought of not only getting burned so badly, but then having to sit through the pain of someone vigorously scrubbing away at my wound to get all the dirt and other stuff that doesn’t belong there out made me cringe. I can’t even imagine that kind of pain. Of course with my brain and the way it thinks, I couldn’t just let it go…I pondered on it for days, getting chills every time. I began thinking of all the times that I have felt “burned” in my life. Whether it be from a friend, family member, or someone else that I trusted…whether I allowed myself to be close enough to the burning flame or scolding hot water out of my own stupidity or just didn’t realize that where I was standing was so dangerous…it hurt all the same. So many times in my life I have put my trust in people who have only let me down, and every time something like that happens, the pain seems to be worse. But as I was thinking back on certain situations, I began to factor in the process in which healing can occur from such a “burn”. As if the pain from just being burned wasn’t enough, I then had to allow God to vigorously scrub my open wound if I wanted to heal properly with no lingering infections that could hinder me from faithfully walking with Him in the future. And not just once, but I had to sit still and endure it time and time again….get cleaned up and wrapped up and a bit later, go back for more cleansing. What I couldn’t see in the midst of all the pain was that God was getting rid of all the things that didn’t belong in me at that time so that I could properly heal. He removed all of the pain, bitterness, mistrust, anger and heartache that didn’t belong there. Letting go of all of those things is not always a fun process…it requires obedience and faith in God to do what He needs to do and trust that He knows what He is doing. If I had refused to let God “doctor” me during those times, I would most likely still be holding on to all of those things from all my past hurt…walking around carrying it in what would still be an open wound or worse because I would have let it infect my life and walk with the Lord. I think God for giving me the strength to endure the proper cleansing needed so that I can continue to hold strong to Him. The process itself may be painful, but in the end…if I get to be cleansed from head to toe with God’s unfailing love and mercy, it’s all worth it.

If You Could Hear Me…

murphymichele — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 10:48:41 +0000

It was almost 3 years ago when you left.

You left so quickly and unexpectedly.

I didn’t even get to say goodbye…

I wish I could have known He was planning to take you home,

But how could I have seen it coming?

I remember it like it was yesterday.

It’s burned into my memory like an iron brand

Sometimes I think of that day and smile, because I know where you are

But it’s nights like tonight, that I can’t help but cry

If you could hear me I’d tell you how much I miss you…

And how I hope I make you proud in everything I do.

If you could hear me, I’d tell you happy birthday a day late.

I’d tell you how it hurts to know you won’t be there to see me walk down the isle with the man of my dreams someday…

But I smile when I remember who set the standard for whoever the man of my dreams may be

If you could hear me, I’d ask you a million questions about Jesus and the bible just like I did when you were here…

I’d tell you how my heart is hurting right now from missing you…

And how hard it is to deal with this harsh world sometimes…

If you could hear me, I’d tell you how much I love you

And how I took my time with you for granted…

I will forever cherish the memories I have of you.

If you could hear me I’d tell you how I wish I would have come and seen you that Saturday with Whitney.

And how I hate the thought of you not being here to watch me grow as a woman of God and pursue and walk out His will…

I wanna make you proud…

I miss you so much…

I love you Grandpa.

I’m thinking of you tonight…

What Kinda Love?

murphymichele — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 02:09:50 +0000

Precious Women of God, do not settle for less of a man than what you deserve! If a man tells you he loves you then leaves you because “God told him to return to his first true love”, do not waste your tears on him while he is busy finding his first true love in women he is just meeting…meanwhile slandering your name. What kinda love is this?

YOU pursue and cling to The One who holds your heart and brings you joy with ALL of your might! YOUR first TRUE love! A love that surpasses ALL knowledge!

You cannot control what others say or do around you, you can only control your own actions and words. Be CHRIST-like in your actions and with what you say!

Cling to God and He will bring you peace even when it seems impossible to hold, and THANK GOD for pulling that man out of your life before you invested anymore of your time and love into a relationship with him. Surrender him and all of your feelings over to God and let Him carry you every step of every day.

Bless that man when you pray so that you do not build up bitterness or resentment towards him, for he is a child of God just as you are. Love him from a distance with brotherly love, not romantic love. Let God romance you and be your stronghold, and you will find love. Because when you find that Christ IS love, you find that HE IS THE ONLY LOVE THAT WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU!

Tell me what kinda love surpasses that?

Ephesians 3:19

and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

Fifteen.

murphymichele — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 20:31:56 +0000

15 seconds. That’s how long it took one family to fall in love with one small Golden Retriever puppy. One they would name Golden Sunny Boy. Not knowing at the time that at that very moment, he would become one of the biggest parts of their every day lives, developing the kind of bond that nothing and no one could ever break.

To others, he was just another dog. But to 3 young girls, he was everything. A confidant, a playmate, a protector, and best friend. Always there when you needed him. He never said much, but was always the best listener. And you could always count on him to give the best high fives!

As time flew by and we grew older, Sunny’s loyalty always remained strong. He never failed to meet you in the drive when you came driving up after a long day at school. Or lift his paw up for a good ole hand shake just for fun. And if he was off playing with the other dogs in the neighborhood you could always rely on him to come home running at just the clap of your hands.

15 years have gone by and we have shared some pretty unforgettable memories with an incredible dog. We have had a lot of fun and shared many laughs along the way.

I guess you always know deep down that no matter how long you’ve had him, the possibilities of your dog out-living you are slim to none. But you never actually expect the day to come that you have to make the decision to put them down. They become apart of your family and share such a huge piece of your heart that when their gone, there’s a part of you, that for awhile feels, has died too.

Sitting there in the vet’s office with him today, holding his paw and gently petting his head. All of us just talking to him softly, letting him know we were all there and that he wasn’t alone, my mind couldn’t help but think how crazy it is that all of this seemed to have flashed before our eyes. 15 years is a long time to have a dog and now it was all coming to an end. With the entire family standing at his side, eyes filled with tears and the room echoing with one sniffle after the other, we said our goodbyes. It was time.

With one hand I grabbed his paw, and the other I gently placed on his head. We all told him we loved him as the nurse injected the syringe.

15. Who would have thought that that number would have turned out to be so significant? It took 15 seconds to fall in love with what turned out to be an incredible dog. 15 years to grow an untouchable and irreplaceable bond with that dog. And in another 15 seconds…he was gone.

Tuesday, July 6^th 2010 Rest in Peace Golden Sunny Boy.

You were the best dog we could have ever asked for.

We love you so much!!!

Beneath the Surface

murphymichele — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 20:38:20 +0000

You’d never guess just by looking at her that she was breaking inside. Everything about her exterior puts off a sense of reassurance that she has it all together. No one asks questions of doubt because no one can ever think of any to ask. If she always seems like everything is so perfect, why would anyone think to question her?

You’d never guess just by looking at her that hidden beneath her fighting eyes and forced smile is just another average human being. One who makes mistakes, one with regrets, one filled with sadness, frustration, anger, and heartache. An emotional rollercoaster if you will. You’d never guess that tucked deep beneath the surface of her skin, is a soul starving for redemption. Lost, like a drifter at sea, and nobody knows it but her.

But why does she hide it? Why does she hide her battered heart? It’s been locked away for what seems like an eternity now. Why does she choose to camouflage her bruises and mask the scars that are slowly finding their way to the surface of her exterior. Is she ashamed? She knows she can’t hide forever. But for now, it’s just easier.

Maybe she’s scared. Scared of what people may think. She has never been much of a follower, but a leader? Yeah, that’s her. Always people looking up to her. So maybe it’s the fear of letting those that idolize her down. Or the fear of letting herself down. You tell me…Which one is worse?

The Heart of Worship

murphymichele — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:57:57 +0000

When asked what does “WORSHIP” mean to you, so many responses can come of that question. Everyone has their own way of worshiping, everyone has their own THING to worship, and everyone has their own personal definition of the word “WORSHIP”. But when talking about worship in the sense of worshiping our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, what does ”WORSHIP” mean to you?

In my opinion…

WORSHIP–”Worship is the heart of Christ. If we were to go and cut open Jesus Christ’s heart, right down the middle, we would find everything Christ desires us to be and more, and WORSHIP pouring out, overflowing from every opening. Worship is your heart, connected with God’s, one-on-one, no one else, just you and your Father. It’s crawling into the Father’s arms and just resting, letting Him pour out his tender rain of mercy and love into your heart, giving you peace. WORSHIP is boasting ABOUT God, TO God. ALL ABOUT GOD. NOT ABOUT YOU! Worship is showing our LOVE for Jesus Christ, in everything we do. Not just in a worship setting, but in our everyday lives. The way we walk, talk, dress, act.

WORSHIP–an amazing, incredible, undeniable, indescribable, emotional connection…lifestyle…and desire to walk with Christ.

Christ is the Heart of Worship. That is where I wanna be…

Holes in the Barrel

murphymichele — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:23:52 +0000

Last night I visited a church in Decatur called The River church. A friend had invited me to come with her because they were having a “Worship Night”. I was hesitant to go, first off because I knew I would not know anyone there, I was tired because my dad and I had left straight from church that morning and gone to lunch and a movie and were just headed home when she had text me with the invite. I was still in my dress from that morning and knew that I would be way overdressed and honestly was coming up with every excuse in the book not to go. But I finally just said, “Ok, I’ll come.” I had no idea how it was going to be or what exactly I was getting myself into, but I went into it with an open mind, thinking it’s worship. And I knew who I was there for and that was all that mattered.

The band played a number of songs that evening and in the middle of their set, one of the lead singers grabbed her mic and told the congregation that they were going to play some music, and just reflect on God and the things that He has blessed us with in our lives. She then asked if their was anyone in the room that would like to share what they felt worship meant to them, or share something that God has “impressed” them with in their lives. People were hesitant to respond at first, but one person came up, and after that another, then another, and before long, it seemed people were waiting in line to share their stories. It was amazing to hear the conviction behind people’s hearts, their life stories, and their definition of what Worship means to them.

One story that stood out to me last night was when one woman got up to the mic and began to speak of a time when she attended a different church some years ago. She said that she was sitting next to her boss in the service and when it came time to take communion, a 5 year old boy walked up to the plate and was preparing to accept it. She thought to herself, “You’re 5! How could you possibly know what communion is, what it truly means, and what you are really about to do up here right now?!” She asked her boss, “Do you think he knows?” So her boss asked the little boy, “Son, what does communion mean to you?” The boy’s first response as he looked up at the man was, “Life is hard.” Again, this woman said she was so shocked and didn’t believe these words coming out of his mouth, she thought, “You’re 5! How could life possibly be hard for you?!” So the boy began to share with them why he took communion.

He said, “Yes, I am 5 years old. My parents are divorced, I have no friends, people pick on me and call me names, I struggle to get by on food and water that I scrounge up myself. I feel like I am trapped inside of a barrel and people just keep shooting at me. They keep filling my barrel with holes, and every time I try to shoot back? I’m just adding more holes to my barrel. So yes, life is hard. But when I take this bread and eat it. My God fills my holes and he makes me whole again. And when I drink of this wine, He fills me up to the top again. That is why I take communion.”

As I stood there, my eyes filled with tears, my mind was racing. How could someone so young and so small grasp something so HUGE?! None of us like to think that anyone could go through something so horrible or tragic at such a small age that they would be able to stand there at the age of 5 and say, “Life is hard.” Life shouldn’t be that way, but it is. I have a feeling that little boy is going to be just fine though. Cause he’s got it! He’s got everything he needs!

All of us have our struggles and our hardships. We have our good times and our bad and so many times we tend to praise God only during the good. We forget to praise Him during the bad as well. When life is going great, we know who to thank, but when life is going bad and our barrels are filled with holes, we are quick to aim the blame His direction. Instead of aiming our guns back at Christ, shouldn’t we be thanking Him for His goodness and mercy? Should we not be begging Him to make us whole and fill our barrels to the top again?! I know that is exactly what I want, and as hard as it is to humble ourselves and ask for it, He is the only one with the power to make it happen.

I was SO close to not going last night. And now I am SO glad I did. The worship, the testimonies, the presence of God, everything I needed right now was right there in that room and He wasn’t about to let me miss out on it.