A Second is All it Takes

We never imagine it could happen to us. We see it all the time on the news, read about it in the papers, even pass it on the highway on our way to work…but when it comes to the thought of it ever happening to us, we think it’s just not possible. Monday morning at approximately 11:00 am, it happened to me…and I will never forget the feelings of fear, anxiety, and shock that I experienced in a split second. Not to mention, the pain it left me in. It was a day like any other and like we all do, I got behind the wheel without the thought of crashing even crossing my mind. Not that I ever thought it could never happen to me, but just didn’t really think about it at all. I looked down for a split second to plug my phone into my auxiliary and it happened. The next thing I knew, the airbag was exploding in my face and i had the worst pain in my head, neck and back…with blood running down my forehead from where I had hit it on the steering wheel. I could hear On-Star telling me over the car phone that they already had police and the ambulance and fire dept on their way. When the paramedics and police arrived, they both kept telling me how lucky I was to have walked away from such a horrible crash. If someone had been in my passenger seat, the crash would have killed them…and if I had hit on my side, I wouldn’t be here right now. My friend who was driving in front of me at the time I crashed, watched the whole thing in his rear view mirror and later told me he had been shaken up all day because he thought that he had watched me die. I went to the ER that afternoon to get checked out because i felt that I may have a concussion and after running several tests, they confirmed that I not only had a severe concussion, but two spots of bruising on my brain, so they admitted me to monitor me over night. When the brain surgeon came in to speak to me, he again informed me of how lucky i was to have survived and said that if i had been any closer to the airbag, it would have crushed my skull. I believe without a doubt that God was looking out for me and had his hand on me Monday. The thought that I came so close to being seriously injured or even died, or worse, killed someone else will never leave my mind. The picture of what happened and the feelings that I felt will never be forgotten. I hope that if anything comes out of this experience, that others take this as a lesson learned as I have and leave the phones, ipods, etc. alone while behind the wheel. It’s not worth losing your life or costing someone else theirs. Keep your eyes on the road and don’t let anything distract you from it…I looked away for a second and it happened to me! One second is all it takes! I plead with you…turn the phones off when you get in your car…put them on silent and put them away…whatever you have to do to make sure that you are not tempted to look at it while driving. It will save yours or someone else’s life someday. It CAN happen to any of us. None of us are bulletproof…be smart and be safe. DON’T MESS WITH ANYTHING, INCLUDING YOUR PHONES, WHILE DRIVING!r

Make Me a Firefly

I have developed a fascination for fireflies since living here in Nashville. The view from my back door is absolutely incredible overlooking the golf course with a giant weeping willow tree shadowing over the pond right down the hill. At night I like to sit out on the porch swing and watch the fireflies as I breathe in every bit of fresh air and I bask in the beauty of God’s breathtaking creation. One night while swinging outside watching the fireflies, I began to wonder, “What does a firefly look like up close?” I realized I had never seen one up close and had no idea what they actually looked like when they weren’t giving off that sparkle of light. As they danced all around the back yard I continued to ponder on the fact that when it comes to fireflies, you only see what they give off. If they aren’t giving off light at night, chances are, you are not going to notice them. And if you do, they wouldn’t catch your attention as much as they do when they are glowing. You see what they give off….light. And as I sat there, I began to pray, “God make me a firefly.” Not in a literal sense but in the sense that when people look at me, they see God’s light shining through me. I want to be a light for Christ and just like a firefly, people are only going to see what I give off. So if I am giving off negativity and dullness, that’s what people around me are going to notice and see… and that is not very appealing. Whereas if I were giving off a positive glow of happiness and light that I find in Jesus Christ, people are going to be more likely to be drawn to me and the image I give off. As a Christian and firm believer in Christ, I am called to live in the image of Jesus Christ, and that is so much more appealing than a dull and negative image…not to mention completely opposite of the image of Christ that He has called me to give off. If I want people to see the happiness, joy and peace that I find in Christ alone, then I need to live my life as a firefly for Christ, giving off his light so that it’s all people see when they look at me. A persona that they could sit for hours and just watch glow, just as I could sit for hours and watch the fireflies dance around in the backyard.

God, help me to be a firefly for You.

He’s Got You “Covered”

Just a quick thought…

Tonight I was babysitting the kiddos…3 amazing children of God to say the least. After they had said their prayers and were all tucked away upstairs, I went downstairs and grabbed my pen and notebook to take advantage of the silence and get some writing in. Not long after the kids had gone to bed, I heard a little voice crying out from upstairs, “I want my cover”. I took off running upstairs to see what was wrong, only to find one of the boys crying in the bottom bunk, searching for his covers. They had fallen off of him onto the floor and it was so dark, he couldn’t see to find them. So after I came to the conclusion that he just wanted his covers, I covered him up, and said, “You’re okay buddy”. After he was covered up he grabbed my hand and fell right back to sleep. When I saw that he was okay, I went back downstairs and continued writing…but my subject immediately changed. I thought, “I want MY cover God”. Sitting in the silence and basking in His goodness, I realized there have been so many times when I have lost my covers in the darkness and needed to cry out to Him in order to ever get them back. I am 21 years old and to this day I must have my covers when I go to sleep at night, because without them I don’t feel as safe. Now I don’t know if that is what was going through this 2-year-old boy’s head when he woke up and realized his covers were not covering him, but this is what I got out of it. A really close friend recently shared with me some scriptures about resting in God. Psalms 3:5 “I lie down and sleep and all night long the Lord protects me. I am not afraid of the thousands of enemies who surround me on every side.” And Psalms 4:8 “When I lie down, I go to sleep in peace; You alone, O Lord, keep me perfectly safe.” So reading these, I see that just like a mother and father care for their children and want them to have a safe place to rest peacefully, our Father in heaven desires us to rest in Him and not worry about the monsters that hide in the dark. Just as a mother or father runs to their child when they cry for help, our Heavenly Father does the same. He “covers” us so that we can feel safe. And if we somehow slip out from under the covers and start to feel a bit shaken and scared, all we have to do is cry out to Him and He runs to our side to cover us again…reassuring us that we are “okay”.

So to anyone who is reading this, I pray God’s covering of safety and peace as you rest in Him tonight. Thank You, God for always having me covered.

Your Love Never Fails

I have spent many sleepless nights wondering why it is that You love me. I have cried myself to sleep countless times over mistakes I have made and all the ways I have managed to let You down. Sometimes, in the battle between my spirit and flesh, my flesh gets the worst of me. There are times that I have doubted Your love. Times when I have been so weak I had to rely on You to simply pull me out of bed in the mornings. Times when tears seemed to be the only sense of relief from the pain I was feeling. Times when heartache and disappointment seemed to be the only emotions I could grasp hold of. Times when living and fighting the fight didn’t even seem to be an option anymore.  Since I was a little girl, my heart has longed to know You. My mind has questioned and wondered about every aspect of Your being. I have never been able to come anywhere close to wrapping my head around the possibility of You being anything but Sovereign and Good! It amazes me that You know every tiny little piece of information about my mind, body, and spirit. You see my mistakes and yet You still long to spend time with and have a relationship with me. The gift of calling You Father is the greatest blessing I could ever receive. You love me for who I am and see beauty through all of my imperfections. Although at times I have little faith and underestimate Your power and my ability to do all things through You, You have never left my side or given up on me. I  am speechless when I think back on every trial You have brought me out of. Every hole I have dug and jumped head first into, only to look up and see You standing at the exit with Your hand reached out to pull me back up. For every storm I have found myself stuck in the middle of, with what seemed like no escape, You have been my shelter. And though You may not calm the storm right away, You teach me to trust You in that moment. You lead me out of every dark tunnel I find myself lost in and supply the stones to defeat every giant I face. You are my Savior, my Rock, my Redeemer. You are my EVERYTHING and without You I am nothing. I am forever Yours. So when I get caught up in the chaos and complications of this world, bring me back to Your arms and remind me of the simplicity of Your love that never fails, never gives up, and never runs out on me.

Burned

About a week ago I took a last-minute vacation with my sister and a close family friend to Galveston for a few days. The morning we were leaving, we ate at IHop for breakfast before we headed out. As we were sitting at our table talking and waiting for our food, I couldn’t help but be distracted for a sec when a young girl walked in with her family and sat down at the table next to us. She had her entire left arm wrapped in gauze and half of her left leg. I turned and asked my friend what he thought had happened to her and his response was that she must have been burned. That thought was confirmed when another table nearby asked the girl what had happened. What we gathered from the little we could hear from eavesdropping out of curiosity was that she was cooking something in a pan and some sort of “explosion” happened causing her arm to be burnt so badly. Seeing this girl wrapped up and hearing what had happened struck up an interesting conversation at our table. My friend stated that in his mind, being burned would be the worst thing ever because when you get burned they have to scrub the wound to get it clean. My sister then said that it’s the same for road rash. The thought of not only getting burned so badly, but then having to sit through the pain of someone vigorously scrubbing away at my wound to get all the dirt and other stuff that doesn’t belong there out made me cringe. I can’t even imagine that kind of pain. Of course with my brain and the way it thinks, I couldn’t just let it go…I pondered on it for days, getting chills every time. I began thinking of all the times that I have felt “burned” in my life. Whether it be from a friend, family member, or someone else that I trusted…whether I allowed myself to be close enough to the burning flame or scolding hot water out of my own stupidity or just didn’t realize that where I was standing was so dangerous…it hurt all the same. So many times in my life I have put my trust in people who have only let me down, and every time something like that happens, the pain seems to be worse. But as I was thinking back on certain situations, I began to factor in the process in which healing can occur from such a “burn”. As if the pain from just being burned wasn’t enough, I then had to allow God to vigorously scrub my open wound if I wanted to heal properly with no lingering infections that could hinder me from faithfully walking with Him in the future. And not just once, but I had to sit still and endure it time and time again….get cleaned up and wrapped up and a bit later, go back for more cleansing. What I couldn’t see in the midst of all the pain was that God was getting rid of all the things that didn’t belong in me at that time so that I could properly heal. He removed all of the pain, bitterness, mistrust, anger and heartache that didn’t belong there. Letting go of all of those things is not always a fun process…it requires obedience and faith in God to do what He needs to do and trust that He knows what He is doing. If I had refused to let God “doctor” me during those times, I would most likely still be holding on to all of those things from all my past hurt…walking around carrying it in what would still be an open wound or worse because I would have let it infect my life and walk with the Lord. I think God for giving me the strength to endure the proper cleansing needed so that I can continue to hold strong to Him. The process itself may be painful, but in the end…if I get to be cleansed from head to toe with God’s unfailing love and mercy, it’s all worth it.

If You Could Hear Me…

It was almost 3 years ago when you left.

You left so quickly and unexpectedly.

I didn’t even get to say goodbye…

I wish I could have known He was planning to take you home,

But how could I have seen it coming?

I remember it like it was yesterday.

It’s burned into my memory like an iron brand

Sometimes I think of that day and smile, because I know where you are

But it’s nights like tonight, that I can’t help but cry

If you could hear me I’d tell you how much I miss you…

And how I hope I make you proud in everything I do.

If you could hear me, I’d tell you happy birthday a day late.

I’d tell you how it hurts to know you won’t be there to see me walk down the isle with the man of my dreams someday…

But I smile when I remember who set the standard for whoever the man of my dreams may be

If you could hear me, I’d ask you a million questions about Jesus and the bible just like I did when you were here…

I’d tell you how my heart is hurting right now from missing you…

And how hard it is to deal with this harsh world sometimes…

If you could hear me, I’d tell you how much I love you

And how I took my time with you for granted…

I will forever cherish the memories I have of you.

If you could hear me I’d tell you how I wish I would have come and seen you that Saturday with Whitney.

And how I hate the thought of you not being here to watch me grow as a woman of God and pursue and walk out His will…

I wanna make you proud…

I miss you so much…

I love you Grandpa.

I’m thinking of you tonight…

What Kinda Love?

Precious Women of God, do not settle for less of a man than what you deserve! If a man tells you he loves you then leaves you because “God told him to return to his first true love”, do not waste your tears on him while he is busy finding his first true love in women he is just meeting…meanwhile slandering your name. What kinda love is this?

YOU pursue and cling to The One who holds your heart and brings you joy with ALL of your might! YOUR first TRUE love! A love that surpasses ALL knowledge!

You cannot control what others say or do around you, you can only control your own actions and words. Be CHRIST-like in your actions and with what you say!

Cling to God and He will bring you peace even when it seems impossible to hold, and THANK GOD for pulling that man out of your life before you invested anymore of your time and love into a relationship with him. Surrender him and all of your feelings over to God and let Him carry you every step of every day.

Bless that man when you pray so that you do not build up bitterness or resentment towards him, for he is a child of God just as you are. Love him from a distance with brotherly love, not romantic love. Let God romance you and be your stronghold, and you will find love. Because when you find that Christ IS love, you find that HE IS THE ONLY LOVE THAT WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU!

Tell me what kinda love surpasses that?

Ephesians 3:19

and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.